Religious Trauma Syndrome and the Other Side

Coming out as gay and being rejected, disowned, and ostracized is the reality of countless LGBTQ+ people, including myself. It hurts. It is the single most challenging experience I have ever been through.

Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) is real. Wikipedia has a wonderful summary that I will share a portion of here:

“RTS is classified as a set of symptoms…experienced by those who have participated in or left behind…controlling religious groups and belief systems.”

Symptoms are similar to PTSD and C-PTSD, causing “Confusion, difficulty with decision-making and critical thinking, dissociation, identity confusion…Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, suicidal ideation, anger, grief, guilt, loneliness, lack of meaning…Sleep and eating disorders, nightmares, sexual dysfunction, substance abuse…Rupture of family and social network, employment issues, financial stress, problems acculturating into society, interpersonal dysfunction.”

The article goes on to say, “Members of the LGBTQIA+ community are at particular risk of RTS and C-PTSD…The process of attempting to alter one's orientation can create emotionally abusive thought patterns that are prone to exacerbate the C-PTSD-like symptoms of RTS. Chronically living in fear of eternal damnation and lifelong separation from loved ones and religious communities if they fail to comply with sexual identity restrictions can induce long-term symptoms of RTS.”

Writing this album was challenging because of how personal the subject matter is and the songs being so drastically different. I finally settled for an album that has two distinct parts, the first being Religious Trauma Syndrome, a dark, deep sadness, an expression of pain and loneliness. The second part is The Other Side, a brighter, happier expression of newfound freedom.

I have learned through my experience that this journey is both happy and sad, painful and liberating, dark and light. It is painful leaving behind what was once called home while also discovering a bright future filled with opportunity.

As an independent artist, my work on this project was deeply personal. As I wrote and produced these songs, I was personally navigating through my own healing journey, processing all that had happened and all that I was currently experiencing. I credit the creation and completion of this album to my healing.

My hope is that other queer individuals and other people who have been rejected by the religious and left religion find solace that they are not alone. Many have walked this journey, and I hope my album brings resonance and peace to them.

I did three interviews earlier this year with A&R Factory, Bored City Music, and Voyage LA if you’re interested in learning more about me.

Single album covers.

Photography by Jeff Langlois, Kelsey Napier, and Kris Drenzek.

Thank you.

A huge thank you to Brooke Tomlinson (an amazing musician, artist, and songwriter) who helped me finish some of these songs.
Also, a huge thank you to Jeff Langlois and Kelsey Napier for the incredible images we captured for the album covers. The images brought this project to a completely new height, I am indebted for their help, patience, creativity, and encouragement. Working with them are some of my favorites moments creating this album and I am immensely thankful.
Also, thank you to Travis, my partner, for your continued belief, encouragement, and support. I couldn’t do this without him.